


Let Me Help You Get Over Your Ex (and Get With Me Instead)

by alittleoff



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, College-ish AU, Derek is a college professor, Human AU, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstanding, and Stiles is a poor barista, but he does a lot to woo Derek, only Derek doesn't know it and you don't see it because this is Derek POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 21:41:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittleoff/pseuds/alittleoff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is an accidental oblivious jerk.</p><p>or the one where Stiles tries to help Derek through his break-ups and even though things don't go smoothly, they go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Help You Get Over Your Ex (and Get With Me Instead)

**Author's Note:**

> So this was started by a random acts of kindness post on tumblr that I cannot for the life of me find, but it was about someone giving another guy strip club money (you'll see what I mean when you read it) and also bases loosely on this post - http://boulevardofbrokenfandoms.tumblr.com/post/113955415112/x  
> Except instead of Derek falling slowly in love, Stiles did, and Derek fell in love too but later and was an accidental jerk along the way. Ehhh  
> Enjoy

"It's for the best," Laura says, nodding sagely like she knows it to be true, but Derek also happens to know she's only ever dated one person and that person is now his brother-in-law and the father of his two nieces. So really, what does Laura know?

"Maybe it's your constant bitchface?" Cora suggests, ducking out of the way of the half-playful, half-reprimanding swat Laura swings her way. "Like if your rest face was nicer she might have stuck around."

Derek can't even be bothered to take the scowl off his face, he just hugs the throw pillow Cora had flung at him earlier, pulling it closer to his chest before flopping sideways to be laying uncomfortably on his couch, legs still dangling off from where he'd previously sitting.

"Ugh," Cora scrunches her nose and takes a step back. "You look even _more_ pathetic like that."

A quick session of short knocks causes all three of them to freeze, looking towards the door with wide eyes. Derek knows they are all have the same thought (is Kate back?), but he feels that it's in different tones in their respective heads. Laura's is probably angry sounding, something like, 'How _dare_ she come back after hurting my baby brother' whereas Cora's is probably something along the lines of disgust - she refuses to believe in love and any of its variations. Derek, however, is thinking with disbelief. If it is Kate at the door, then what changed her mind? She'd seem so final in her decision to leave.

No one actually makes a move to answer the door, or even _breathe_ it seems, so the knocking stops and from underneath the door comes an envelope. It glides in, coming to a stop about three feet from the door. They listen to the fading footsteps as whoever it was walks away.

Cora dives for the envelope (there's not even a pretense of letting Derek get it himself, sheesh) and then frowns at it. "It's for you."

Now Derek shoots her a deadpan look as he sits up, because really. Really? An envelope gets slide under _his_ apartment door and the mail is for him? "Give it here."

Cora hands it over without even making him tug it from her grasp. That speaks volumes for how much she's actually sympathizing with him over his breakup.

On the envelope is simply written _'To: 6F'_. Derek is confused, and can see his confusion mirrored on his sisters' faces.

"Open it," Laura prompts, plopping down next to him on the couch.

So Derek does, because it's expected. Inside is a folded note. Derek unfolds it and freezes as a fifty dollar bill floats out from it to land in his lap. "What-" he cuts himself off to read the letter.

_'Hey Dude- I saw you moving your girlfriend out yesterday. Sorry about that man. There are DEFINITELY other fish in the sea...! Take this $ break it into ones and get your ass to the strip club!! Cheer up neighbor, Merry X-Mas, APT 3F'_

Derek feels a grin work its way onto his face, even though he still feels hollow. It's nice to think that a stranger cares about your well being, especially one that has fifty bucks to just give you.

"Welp, I'm gunna call Isaac then," Laura stands and stretches, even though Derek knows she hasn't been sitting long enough to need to stretch. Derek knows the stretching is his cue to ask, so he does.

"Why are you calling Isaac?"

Laura's grin is positively _feral_. "Why, to get him to take you to a strip club, of course."

\------

Three weeks and about seven hangovers later, Derek feels more normal. It's not that he was absolutely in love with Kate - they'd only dated six months - but he had hoped. That's why he'd let her move in to begin with. Now, three weeks later, Derek has completely rearranged his apartment. So, mostly the rearranging was the fill in the now every empty spots of where Kate's things had been but Derek still felt productive.

So productive, in fact, that he now remembers he should thank the mysterious person who gave him strip club money.

He knocks on the door of 3F the same way 3F had knocked on his door. It's a few second before it is pulled open by a brunette that looks vaguely familiar.

"Derek? Uh, how can I help you?" she asks, and now Derek feels slightly terrible about not recognizing her, since she very clearly remembers him from somewhere. Jesus, he hopes they didn't meet sometime at a bar recently.

"I, er," Derek coughs to clear his throat and continues, "I wanted to say thank you, for the uhh, the encouragement after my break-up."

Her entire face lights up then, bright eyes and a huge smile and suddenly she doesn't look familiar at all. "Oh gosh, yeah. That was from Stiles. I'll let him know you said thanks!"

"Thanks," Derek turns to leave but quickly turns back. "Okay, I don't really know you? How'd you know my name?"

She laughs, "We never got to meet, actually, but, well, awkward as this is, I'm Kate's niece. She showed me some pictures of you, and with you being neighbors with my boyfriend and all it kinda stuck with me? Your face, I mean."

Derek nods like it all makes sense, which it most certainly does not, but oh well. "Alright. Have a good day."

"You too!" She says cheerfully and shuts the door.

Derek walks away with the knowledge that his ex-girlfriend's niece is dating the guy who gave him fifty bucks to get over her with. And his name is Stiles.

\------

For the next six month, 3F does nice things for him. Derek comes home to envelopes on his floor from being shoved under the door, little notes asking how he's doing. If his students are behaving, even one that said he was looking super sad again and wanted to know if he needed more stripper money. Derek replied to these with envelopes underneath the door of 3F in return. The first time he did it, he felt silly. Now he might be developing a crush on 3F, which is a serious no-no, given the happy girlfriend and whatnot.

Derek resolves to get a girlfriend.

\------

Six days later finds Derek with a new girlfriend. Jennifer is nothing like Kate and Derek is happy with that.

Jennifer is perfect, in fact. She's polite, bubbly, his family seems smitten with her (but they could be faking, Derek can't really tell with his sisters), and she has a full time job as an English teacher. How much more domestic can you get without actually being domestic?

"I see you got a new girlfriend."

The voice startles him and Derek looks up. It's the barista, Genim his nametag says, holding a cup. "Uhh, yeah? I mean, how did you know that?"

The guy turns pink and tries to act nonchalant (it doesn't work), "Well, I've seen you with her here a few times with you. And y'know, I've worked here for forever so I notice regulars. I didn't mean to seem creepy."

"Oh, yeah, no I get that. I'm a professor. If someone repeatedly shows up to lectures, I start to remember them. Same concept, I'm sure," Derek offers up his I'm-Approachable smile (Cora and him have been working on it). It seems to ease Genim, who holds out the cup to Derek.

"You've been here a while and I see that your done with your drink," Genim nods towards Derek's empty cup, "so I brought you another. It's the same thing you ordered. That you always order."

Derek laughs lightly at that and takes the cup. "Do you guys have jokes about boring people that always order the same thing?"

"Nah," Gemin waves his now free hand dismissively, "the jokes are saved for rude customers. Regulars are always welcomed."

Derek smiles and Gemin backs away and heads back to work. Free coffee always makes him feel better. (Any coffee makes him feel better really).

Derek leaves an hour later, papers fully graded and another coffee in hand. Jennifer greets him once he arrives to pick her up for their date with a kiss. Life's pretty good.

\------

Life is _not_ good. In fact, it's down right awful and out to get Derek. Strike him down where he stands, please Jesus.

As it turns out, Jennifer is actually Julia. It's not her fault she had to lie to Derek; Witness Protection made her do it since her crazy ex-boyfriend is out to kill her. No, what gets to Derek is that Jennifer/Julia is _not_ over her ex-girlfriend and walks into Jennifer/Julia's classroom to them making out on her desk.

He breaks it off before leaving and feels like crap the rest of the day.

Gemin is working that night and that makes Derek feel a little better. He's grown to really like Genim. Derek's order is never wrong when Genim makes it, so that's nice.

"You look like Jennifer just told you she was part of a mafia that only murders kittens and dreams," Genim says, leaning on the counter. The first part is said in a joking tone, but Genim must be a real people person 'cause he can easily read Derek and adds, "hey man, wanna vent? We're pretty dead so I don't think Scott'll mind if I take my break early."

Derek is a twenty-eight year old college professor. He is an _adult_ that has been successfully adulting for _years_. And yet, he finds himself nodding like a toddler with a bruised knee in need of kissing. Not Derek needing kissed, but the toddler's knee. Not that Derek would be completely against the idea of kissing Genim, and- okay, that's getting away from him. Genim is nice and Derek knows that's where the attraction is coming from. He doesn't even know if they have anything in common.

Also Derek was cheated on, and who knows how long that has been happening, and kinda wants to just kiss random people in retaliation, though rationally he knows that will not upset or affect Jennifer/Julia in any way since he already broke up with her.

"Okay, so Scott's gunna watch the counter. Come on," Genim leads him to a table towards the back, away from the door and counter. No one is in the building present and Derek thinks that the store must usually be this dead this late. "Spill, dude."

So Derek does. Why the hell not. Genim is cheaper than a therapist and willing to listen to Derek whine. He feels like a high schooler all over again, but it's okay because Genim's face is serious as he listens, nodding when he's supposed to and offering up choice, perfect words. Genim seems hooked completely on Derek's story, even gasping in shock when Derek reveals walking into the classroom.

"Dude," Genim breathes out, apparently floored by the story. Derek's sure that Genim has been sitting with him for almost forty minutes, but since Scott hasn't called for him it must not matter much. "Duuuude. That totally blows. Like, how could she not want all up on that all the time?" Genim gestures to Derek's _everything_ and he feels his ears go pink. "Man, no, that's not okay. Here's what we are going to do, Derek. We, meaning you and I, are going to go out. Get drunk, absolutely smashed, and you are going to drunk dial Jennifer and tell her _exactly_ how you feel about this situation, then you will go home and pass out and feel like absolute shit, but also a thousand times better, in the morning."

"Do you speak from experience?" Derek asks, a grin making its way onto his face.

"Duh," Genim smiles and then tells Derek to wait. He returns in fifteen minutes, changed into jeans, a plain dark blue shirt, and a plaid red button up over it that doesn't really match. "Alright, Scott's gunna close now anyway since it's been a while since our last customer and will let me go."

"Scott own the place?"

"No, but his mom does so he might as well, right?" Genim laughs and leads Derek out and into the night.

The night progresses mostly as Genim said it would; Derek gets completely smashed and does drunk dial Jennifer. He slurs into her voicemail because of course she didn't pick up, and Genim cheers him on, shouting things like, 'you are stupid for not picking him' and 'Derek is the sexiest thing to exist _ever_ and your stupid' and it's pretty good for Derek's ego.

An hour later finds them slightly less drunk (they've eaten an entire loaf of french bread from a baker between them) and in Derek's apartment. Derek doesn't even let the door get fully closed before he plasters himself to Genim's front, sucking dark bruises into his neck while Genim lets every explicit he knows roll off his tongue.

"Fuck, Derek, you have no idea- I thought you didn't- God please have less clothes on!" and Genim shoves him back to try and rip Derek's shirt from him. Derek chuckles and pulls the shirt off himself, even though he wobbles a bit. "Jesus, divine beings sculpted you themselves didn't they? You have no idea how much I'm dying to lick-"

Derek raises an eyebrow, "so lick."

Genim trips over his own to feet in his haste to attach his tongue to Derek's abs but Derek isn't complaining. Derek moves back, taking Genim with him, planting himself on his couch and pulling Genim on top. He cups Genim's face and pulls him in for a kiss that's more teeth and tongue than lips but its still good.

"Derek," Genim pants, pulling back. He says Derek's name like it's a blessing, the best thing he's ever heard. "Derek I want, have wanted, so much. God you've no idea how much. Just, please-"

Derek isn't sure what Genim is asking for or talking about, so he kisses him again to make him stop talking. It works, and soon they are rutting against each other. It's not nearly enough friction but Derek's too drunk to do much more than dry hump him. Genim doesn't seem to mind, takes over in fact. He unzips their pants and frees their cocks, grasps both of them and jerks them off. It's one of the hottest things Derek's seen and he really wishes he could contribute but he just _can't_ right now.

Derek cums first, going pliant. He feels bad, not doing much more, but Genim seems content to jerk himself to completion while kissing Derek, so Derek kisses. He can do that.

They are both sticky, sweaty, and tired when it ends. Genim flops forward to lay more on Derek and Derek tilts his head to allow Genim a place to comfortable rest his head.

"I needed that," Derek says, because his brain to mouth filter is still turned off.

Genim laughs, "yeah, me too. So, I was wondering," Genim pulls back to look at Derek, "could be possible go on a real date next time? Y'know, one where you aren't crying over an ex and drunk?"

"Next time?" is all Derek's confused brain can come up with.

"Well, yeah. I mean, if you want a next time..." Genim trails off, suddenly looking very uncomfortable.

"Look, Genim, you're nice but..." Derek trails off, searching for words. His brain just wouldn't turn back on and now Genim looks, well, Derek can't tell what his expression is supposed to be but its quickly gone and replaced with his Customer Satisfaction Smile (Derek vaguely recalls them discussing this at Genim's work sometime or another).

"I guess I just got the wrong impression. Sorry," Genim is off his lap quickly enough. He looks down at his messy shirt, but he must decide he doesn't care what people think of it. "I guess I'll see you around, Derek."

Genim leaves before Derek can even get up off the couch and by the time he does and get his apartment door open, the hall is empty.

\------

Repetitive angry knocking wakes Derek the next morning. He is hungover, sore, and really doesn't want to do anything but wallow in his bed. But the knocking won't stop so Derek gets up an answers it.

As soon as he undoes the latch and turns the nod the door forces itself inward. In steps Kate's niece, fire in her eyes. "How _dare_ you! I can't believe I was so stupid to let Stiles even talk to you!"

Derek blinks, because what? "What? What does Stiles have to do with this?"

"Oh, even better! You didn't even _know his name_ last night. That's fan-fucking-tastic!" She's screaming, and Derek's headache really can't stand it but her words don't make sense.

"No, no, I came home with Genim-"

"Genim is Stiles you idiot! He only goes by Genim at work because it makes him feel more professional. Stiles is what his friends call him, you great asshole," She takes a step towards him and Derek steps back, suddenly scared for his life.

"I didn't mean to sleep with your boyfriend!" He calls out, hoping to stop the murder in her eyes. And huh, weird, that actually works. She visible relaxes under confusion, the tension of anger leaving.

There's a pause because she says slowly, "You think that-"

"Allison!" a new guy, one Derek's never seen before, invites himself in and grabs the angry woman's -Allison's- arm. "Come on, Stiles told you to drop it."

"Wait," Allison says, now in a quiet kind voice. "I think... Derek just called me Stiles' girlfriend, so I think they might have had communication issues."

"You're not Stiles' girlfriend. You're mine," the new guys looks genuinely sad to have to say that.

"I know that Scott, but he doesn't," she waves at Derek like he's the anomaly in his own apartment. She turns on Derek then. "You really should talk to Stiles. Scott and I will make ourselves scarce in an hour, so come over then."

"Uh, come where?"

"3F."

\------

Derek isn't sure why he actually shows up at 6F, but he does. Allison lets him in with a hard look and then leaves, dragging Scott with.

Stiles (Genim?) is sitting on his couch, a tattered well-loved looking brown thing that matches nothing else in the place. He's sitting side ways, against the arm, legs bent and arms wrapped around them, leaning forward slightly. All in all, he looks really sad and small.

"Hey, Stiles," Derek says it with uncertainty, but it does the trick because Stiles looks at him.

"Allison says you thought I was her boyfriend," Stiles says flatly.

"Not exactly," Derek replies, moving into the house and sitting gently on the end of an ugly denim chair with duct tape holding the fabric on it. A quick glance around the apartment shows that nothing matches and most of it was probably from thrift shops. "I did think that Stiles was dating Allison, but I didn't know that you, specifically, were Stiles. I thought you were Genim."

Stiles shakes his head and mutters, "I knew it" before speaking in a normal tone, "Great, you can go now. You've proven me right. You kicked me out after you got your rocks off because you were done and not because you had the revelation that I was someone's boyfriend."

Derek feels angry suddenly. "What do you want from me Stiles?!"

"A relationship!" Stiles growls back and then clamps a hand out his mouth, as if he can take the words back. "Forget it. I didn't... I thought you cared, that you wanted me, but you don't. So just go. Make this less painful for the both of us, okay?"

"No!" Derek stands, "No, I do care. I just- I just didn't know I cared!"

Stiles shoots him a clearly unimpressed look.

"Just, I didn't know you lived here, or that you went by Stiles, when I went out with you last night. But I don't regret it. Last night I was too drunk I couldn't get words to form, couldn't tell you to stay. I tried to go after you but you'd already vanished," Derek sighs and Stiles has moved to sitting on the edge of the couch, looking like he wants to stand up.

"Really?"

"Yeah. And, even before that, when I thought Stiles was dating Allison and we were exchanging notes like high schoolers, I liked you then, too. I liked Stiles, but it felt weird and wrong too because I thought you were dating Allison, so I went a got a girlfriend to not think about you. But I guess that makes me just as bad as Jennifer, since neither of us dated the other because we were looking for love, but because we were looking for an escape. So, can we try this again?"

Stiles is standing by the end of Derek's speech and nodding vigorously. "Yes, yes, all the yes!" He falls into Derek's chest as he trip over something on the floor, and Derek thinks of last night. Stiles pulls him into a kiss and when they break apart, Derek asks, "So, should I call you Genim or Stiles?"

"Stiles, please call me Stiles."

Derek laughs and kisses Stiles again, "Come on, Stiles. This time I'm sober and know what name to call out."


End file.
